Sex Toys Of The Future, According To The Adult Entertainment Expo

You probably won't get a rise out of these toys.

There are plenty of exhibitors at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, but these are the weirdest new additions we could find this year.

The sex industry likes to think its on the cutting edge of extracurriculars, but these "new" products just made us giggle. Would you try them?

Just be warned that some people are likely to find the photos below disturbing, and they are definitely not safe for work.

The Real Doll line of sex dolls have been around for a while, but now they're getting a little too real. For just $8,500, you can own a life-like rendering of famous porn stars. For a little more, the Real Doll company will render anyone you like into one of these. Remember the last time you were in a department store and a mannequin scared you because you thought it was a real person lurking in the shadows? Yeah, we were worried that the Jessica Drake Real Doll clone might attack us.

Hydromax

If you're afraid your penis is too small, the Hydromax is here to help (though therapy might be cheaper and more effective). You use the Hydromax in the shower and the manufacturer claims that this water vacuum pump "creates a vacuum which expands the penis to full erection, and in most cases, slightly more."

Extracurricular Exercise Balls

By far, this is the most hilariously perverted toy we found at the event. It's called "The Magic Ball," and you can probably guess how it's used. Sorry to ruin your day.

Porn Star Trading CardsRemember when your mom made you get rid of all your awesome baseball cards (yeah, we had the Tops Frank Thomas rookie card, too)? Well, now, as an adult, you can start a collection again with The Adult Trading Card Company. Their website lets you create your own trading cards (humblebrag), and if you pay just a little more, your favorite adult actress will sign them for you.

My Private PillowThe guys who made My Private Pillow told us that the average American has six pillows. SIX PILLOWS. Well, finally there's a purpose for all those extra sham pillows that you throw off the bed every night anyway. My Private Pillow has a secret pouch where you can hide all your weird toys. Or your cash. Or your weed, if you live in Colorado.

Weed Smokin' Genitalia Pipe

It's called the "Cock Pipe." If you're a (Coloradoan) weed smoker, you can buy one of these and toke up while you get down.

The App That Welcomes Your Creepy Drawings

It's like Draw Something, we think, except it's OK to draw creepy things and send the finished product to your buddies. Adult Draw is available on the app store, but you were already doing this with Draw Something, we're sure

Brony Plugs

• Perhaps you know some Bronies, grown men who enjoy "My Little Pony" products. Now, porn star Tasha Reign has created a line of sex toys just for them. Can you guess what that thing in Reign's hand does? 

Too Little To Mock? Joan Rivers (FP) calls Kim Kardashian's Daughter ‘Ugly’.

'I've never seen a baby so desperately in need of waxing': Joan Rivers sinks to new low as she mocks Kim Kardashian's 'ugly' daughter North

She's known for her off-handed and sometimes downright offensive comments, but comedienne Joan Rivers has made a particularly low blow by criticising a defenceless baby.

The 80-year-old has branded Kim Kardashian's infant daughter North 'ugly' and 'desperately in need of a waxing'.

The comedienne joked about seven-month-old Nori - Kim's daughter with rapper fiancé Kanye West 

- as part of her latest stand-up comedy routine.

Waging war: Joan Rivers (left) has picked the wrong mama to mess with, after criticizing Kim Kardashian's infant daughter North during a stand-up comedy show in which she dubbed the baby 'ugly' and 'desperately in need of a waxing'

'North's eyebrows are thick, natural and amazing!': Kim was overwhelmed by comments that she had waxed her then-six-month-old's brows when she posted this photo of the infant to social media in mid-December

Joan explained how she had met the tot when the new mom brought her into the offices of the E! television network, where she hosts Fashion Police.

According to RadarOnline.com, Joan told her audience: 'That baby is ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a waxing.'

When the 33-year-old first revealed a full-face photo of her child on social media in mid-December, she was inundated by comments that she had waxed the baby's perfectly groomed brows. 

One proud mama: The 33-year-old shared some more adorable never-before-seen photos of her genetically-blessed only child when she was interviewed on The Ellen DeGeneres Show last week

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Happy-go-lucky: The precious little girl's happy demeanour was evident in the candid snaps her mom took as she tried out a new headband on her

Taking to Twitter to defend her six-month-old’s appearance, she wrote: ‘Do people really think I would wax my daughters eyebrows so young? Come on, I'd wait until she's at least 2 1/2!

‘I'm kidding!!! Its pretty sick for people to insinuate that I would wax my daughters eyebrows. They are thick, natural and amazing!’

Joan's joke is unlikely to go down well with Kanye, who is fiercely protective of his daughter and vowed shortly before her birth last June that he was determined she would enjoy a normal childhood and not let people take advantage of her.

The 36-year-old said: 'This is my baby. This isn't America's baby.'

Explaining his fatherly duties further, he added: 'One of the things was to be protective, that I would do anything to protect my child or my child's mother. As simple as that.'

Kanye was also upset recently when Kim dressed North in a two-piece swimsuit to take her for her first dip in a pool.

She revealed during an interview on The Ellen DeGeneres Show last week: '[Kanye] is a little uncomfortable with North wearing a bikini. I tried it once and it did not go over well. It has to be a one-piece.'

Daddy's little girl: Kanye West is said to be very protective of his only child and wasn't at all happy when his fiancée put the seven-month-old in a bikini recently, with Kim revealing it 'did not go over well'

KANYE WEST & ‘Yeezianity’

The Church of ‘Yeezianity’ Is a New Religion That Worships Kanye West

“Yeezianity” is either an actual new religion that considers rapper Kanye West to be its “savior” or a hilarious and elaborate art project that almost approaches the brilliance of West’s work. Either way, the “Church of Yeezus” has a verycomprehensive website, which presents the religion as an “anonymous group who believes that the one who calls himself Yeezus is a divine being who has been sent by God to usher in a New Age of humanity.”

Using the motto “THE BEST CHURCH OF ALL TIME!!!!!,” the “Yeezanity” religion appears to have come into existence some time over the last month. In addition to following Kanye West, the group adheres to five pillars that mostly revolve around the freedom of creative expression, something that West himself likely values highly:

1. All things created must be for the good of all

2. No human being’s right to express themselves must ever be repressed

3. Money is unnecessary except as a means of exchange

4. Man possesses the power to create everything he wants and needs

5. All human suffering exists to stimulate the creative powers of Man

VICE’s music website Noisey scored the first interview with the founder of “Yeezianity,” who was seemingly upfront about what exactly he was doing. “I believe in what it is, and that’s real,” the anonymous founder said. “But is there a real organized religion behind it? There is not.” He said in some ways it’s “just a rehashing of Christianity, but just throwing Yeezus instead of Jesus.”

Of course, before “Yeezianity” turned Kanye into a God, he did it himself, first all the way back in 2004 with his song “Jesus Walks” and the Rolling Stone cover that followed.

Then this past year, he put the song “I Am a God” on his album Yeezus and joined on stage by an actor playing Jesus each night of his tour.

Jake Tapper took some time out of his CNN show The Lead Thursday afternoon to offer his own reaction to “Yeezianity,” as he’s done before with other Kanye-related stories. Taking a page out of West’s playbook, Tapper ended his report by saying, “I’mma let you finish Church of Yeezus, but Moses had one of the best proclamations of all time.”

Watch video below, via CNN:

TOPLESS RIHANNA

Rihanna reveals tan lines as she poses topless for Vogue Brazil in beach photoshoot

Strutting topless on the beach, pouting Rihanna looks like she's stepped straight off the pages of a lad's mag.

But this isn't FHM she's posing for, but the highly respected fashion magazine Vogue - albeit the Brazilian edition.

The pop star was pictured in five different yet equally revealing outfits as she posed for a photographer on the Brazilian Island of Angra dos Reis.

Well she is a Bad Gal! Rihanna poses topless but for some artfully placed squares of paper on the Brazilian Island Of Angra dos Reis

Stripping off: Rihanna wore a series of different outfits that showcased her toned figure

Diving in: Despite the lad's mag style photos, the shoot was actually for fashion magazine Vogue Brazil

Babe on the beach: Rihanna shows off her latest hairstyle while on her photoshoot

Soaking up the rays: In her own photo, Rihanna holds out the camera as she walks beside palm trees with her new raven tresses

Just small strips of tape obscured the singer's nipples as she stood posing on the sand in the shots, taken last week.

For one series of pictures Rihanna wore a pair of gold boy short bikini bottoms, which she teamed with armfuls of bangles, and a colourful headscarf.

The 25-year-old stood smouldering at the photographer, giving her best pout.

Body confident: The Barbadian is used to showing off her figure in a bikini

It's art! The singer revealed her tan lines, and tattoos, as she posed in the risque outfits

How do I look? Rihanna takes direction from the photographer

Back view: Rihanna holds her arms across her chest as a photographer snaps pictures on the sand

Arms behind her head, she turned her back and gazed at the ocean as he snapped away.

Despite the large team surrounding her, holding shades and mirrors to light her face, scantily clad Rihanna seemed at ease in the spotlight.

Of course, coming as she does from the island nation of Barbados, we are used to seeing Rihanna strutting around in a bikini during her down time.

And it seemed she was equally relaxed doing so in front of the camera.

Well hello there! Rihanna wore her hair tied back in a head scarf and a stack of gold bangles on her arm

Golden girl: Rihanna showcase her perfect rear in her metallic boy shorts

Quick change: Hard-working Ri-Ri darted between locations in a towel and sandals

Throwing a white towel around herself the singer darted between locations for the shoot.

The hard-working star had jetted in via helicopter, carrying her own bags as she disembarked.

After a quick costume change, the still topless star posed in colourful patterned shorts and a floppy straw hat.

For a third shoot Rihanna donned strappy gold and black sandals, and a jacket and cap.

Still topless, she managed to break a smile as she laughed with her team between poses.

What a view: Rihanna was pictured against the stunning backdrop of the blue ocean and white sand

Perfect figure: The 25-year-old's toned stomach was perfectly complimented by a delicate gold belly chain hanging just beneath her navel

Practised pout: The singer smouldered from beneath her large floppy straw hat

Getting it just right: The Diamonds singer does her best model impression for the cameras

Next she stepped into the ocean wearing a black pair of bikini bottoms.

With a green shirt slipping down off her shoulder, she stood seductively half-submerged in the water.

Another image saw her don a transparent white vest, which she wore in the surf.

Taking a stroll: The beauty struts in the surf on the beach

Body art: Along with her fabulous figure, the shoot also revealed Rihanna's many tattoos

Getting the look right: Despite the small amount of clothing, a large team was on hand to ensure Rihanna looked her best

Just a hint: A wardrobe assistant arranges Rihanna's shorts

Cover up: Rihanna wrapped herself in a towel as she took direction about her next poseWhile the revealing outfits might be deemed a little too racy by some stars, Rihanna certainly didn't seem phased.

She laughed and joked with her team between takes, with one unguarded moment catching her smiling as she posed in a green designer jacket and a black hat featuring the name 'Vogue'.

And while the topless shoot might look a little out of place on the pages of the US version of the magazine, for Brazil Vogue it is positively demure.

In Vogue! The grinning star was obviously at ease, despite the revealing fashion choices

Step this way: Rihanna takes instruction on how to pose

Smoudlering: The starlet wore big hoop earrings and a green shirt slipping from her shoulder in scenes set in the ocean

After all, this month's issue features a fully nude Candice Swanpoel.

The Victoria's Secret model posed on a bed, preserving her modesty with carefully crossed legs and artfully placed arms.

Rihanna is currently busy promoting her new single Can't Remember To Forget You, which she recorded with Shakira.

No luxuries here! The singer hops over a low wall

All done: After her shoot Rihanna wrapped up warm in a grey towel

PADLOCK FOR THE P***S

Chastity devices serve as a way of controlling the wearer’s sexual behaviour, physically blocking the possibility of intercourse and masturbation. But while chastity belts of the type imagined on seventeenth-century virgins do exist, and there is a small online community of women with chastity fantasies, today, the vast majority of chastity devices are designed for men, and sold over the internet.

Most chastity cages are padlock-equipped, completing the fantasy of being “sealed away”. One website run by notorious chastity fan “Altairboy” has been painstakingly cataloguing all chastity devices since 1996, but those serious about locking down their tackle usually opt for a device made by A.L. Enterprises or Mature Metal.

Male chastity devices restrict a man from touching his genitals for sexual pleasure. The male chastity device gives the Keyholder control over the sexual fulfillment of both partners by denying the wearer the touch he has had all of his life. His focus is now on when he can experience sexual gratification, and the Keyholder has complete control over the wearer’s pleasure. This denied access means the wearer must please the Keyholder in order to receive the pleasure he craves.